I started out the last decade with a new baby. And, two and a half years left of my medical training. My husband and I had a lot of plans and goals to accomplish. I thought 2012 was the start of the ultimate adventure in achieving my goals. I completed fellowship, moved my family from California to Georgia and started a job that was the best fit for my young family.
A little over 4 months after starting my job, I would have a TIA ( mini-stroke) in a patient’s room in the NICU and be transported to the ER by a nurse who thought I was having a stroke. That day would set me on a trajectory that would alter my life, end my career and leave me with a permanent disability.
There is power in leaving the past behind. None of us have a time machine to alter the life changing events in our lives. We only have the power to move forward. The power to forgive. The power to set in motion plans that will get us to our future goals.
I leave the 2010s will grief that will continue to lessen and have less impact on my daily life. I hope to be able to think about being a neonatologist and my career as a goal I achieved and not as a beloved career and expertise that I lost. I hope my story, recovery and continued striving for healing will have a positive impact on those who are also recovering. The word is “survivor” not “victim”! The emphasis is healthy enduring and coping and not stagnation and allowing yourself to be caught in a tar pit of loss and grief.
You can be happy. You can have joy. Life will never be the same, but you still have a life to lead!